Ethan Nicholas....

Let me preface this by saying (and I shouldn’t have to but I know how some people get). I have 3 nephews and 1 niece – I love them all the same. I don’t have a favorite BUT there is a very special place in my heart for my nephew Ethan – for many reasons – but a lot of small reasons turned into one.

I remember the day he was born (kind of), I remember the days surrounding when he was born. I was home for Christmas Break and I was doing everything in my power to get my sister to have that baby. Making her walk, jumping jacks, I probably told her to do sit-ups, anything I read about online or could think, I was making her try (I’m a horrible sister – ha).  I failed. Big time.

I was driving back to Olivet for the semester with my dad when my sister called and told me her doctor was scheduling her to come in the next day (seriously? The day AFTER I go back from being home for weeks) to have Ethan and she wanted to make sure I was ok with that (HA!).  I should have known then that he was going to have a special way about him. I WISH I would have realized then that this would be a sign that God was going to use Him – for my sake and for my life.  After returning to Olivet, a horrible ice storm and freezing temperatures came through, prompting the University to close and cancel classes.  Luckily for me, the weather in Indiana was MUCH better so I was able to get off campus and get home to see that baby boy.

(If you were sitting next to me right now you would see the tears coming. I can almost guarantee that if you are sitting next to my sister or mom when they read this, they are probably crying).

The next morning after I got back home, I went up to the hospital with my mom and laid eyes on the most beautiful baby boy I had ever seen. He was so tiny and new and just breathe taking. It was the day Ethan and my sister were being discharged so while my sister showered and dressed and ate – I soaked in the love and the joy that was laying in my arms.

And I prayed…….. I prayed that God would use this boy for his glory, use him in ways that would bring love and compassion to a hurting world, prayed that Ethan would know and love Christ and that he would follow God’s planned as it unfolded before him.

(ok now let the tears fall……….)

I had no idea that in 2 years of Ethan being born, God was going to take my prayers for that precious boy and use them to bring me to a place of grace, a place of light, a place of happiness. The prayer I had prayed was going to be an answer to another prayer – more of a desperate plead to God to send me a ray of hope.

In 2011, Ethan turned 2 and it was the darkest year of my life. You know how people reference – “hitting rock bottom”?  I hit a space below rock bottom.  The days were so dark I don’t even know how I survived….except I do….it was Ethan. 

I was living back with parents due to circumstances that I don’t even want to begin to think about again and everyday – he was there. He greeted me with his sweet smile – whispered the most precious “Hi Hiya” (he couldn’t say Heather). And the moments when I was slipping his tiny little arms would wrap around me and embrace me in the most loving embrace that the troubles I was facing, the dark hole that I was living in would chisel away ever so slowly and this tiny little 2 year old – who was so wise and loving beyond his years – brought back light.

Remember when I mentioned that I prayed – errr – desperately pleaded to God for a glimpse of hope? – He was there – and he was two. He was the hope that better and brighter days were to come.

In a couple days, Ethan will be 8! E-I-G-H-T!  I don’t even know how it’s possible that I am typing that number – EIGHT!!!  Eight years ago this boy made me an aunt. He gave me a title that I, every day since then, have cherished. Six years ago be saved me (might sound weird to say about someone who was 2 – but it’s true) from a nightmare.  He will forever be my saving grace – my glimpse of hope. My sweet, loving and compassionate nephew – who is still way wiser and more loving than any 8 year old I know.

Ethan Nicholas, I will never be able to thank you enough for being you – sweet, adorable and lovable you. You will never understand all you have done for me and all you have taught me. From that first day I saw you I have continued and will continue to pray “Heavenly Father, protect this boy. Guide him, love him, and use his life to bring your glory”!

Big things are in store for you my buddy! Don’t EVER change your sweet innocent ways. Don’t let the world change your sweet compassionate heart. Use your love for other people and CHANGE THE WORLD! I know you will!  You are destined for GREAT things.

HAPPY 8^TH BIRTHDAY Ethan! My love and gratitude for you is so deep – you will never fully understand and I will never be able to accurately tell you. I hope this next year of life is the best one yet!