Sometimes I wish there was a way for people to feel the things people close to them feel, the hurt, the pain, the crushed feeling. The joy, the happiness, the gratefulness.....but there isn't and sometimes no matter what the emotion a person is feeling they don't show, the deal with it in different ways.
I wish I could share with you the details of what we went through with the planned adoption I mention in my last post....but I can't. I was asked to keep things confidential for the privacy and respect of everyone involved. I wish people understood that. Unfortunately, all the work, all the hopes and all the plans for the adoption cam crumbling, right before our eyes, and we never saw it coming.
I wish you could feel the hurt, the pain and crushing feeling Justin and I feel right now.....but you can't and really I only want you to feel it so you understand, but I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone. We are devastated.
The money that so many of you have donated and generously gave we appreciate so much. Justin and I have written a check to send that money to the Tippecanoe County CASA program. A program that will enrich lives of children in our new "home".
This is the last you will hear from this blog.
Thank you for your support and encouragement and love. For those of you who understand, thank you, for those of you who don't, I'm sorry. I wish things were different.
Justin and heather
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Sunday, June 15, 2014
A Short and sweet (kind of sour) update
I feel like I'm always apologizing for it being so long in between posts at time, but my heart snd my feelings have been in such a negative place lately that I needed to calm just a little.
I'm going to very vaguely tell you a story....Justin and I were contacted to adopt a baby out of state....we were chosen.....picked and Indiana attorney - we had that paperwork complete......we picked an attorney in that state (for interstate adoptions you have to have one in the birth state to help you get cleared to bring the baby home) - that paperwork was being processed......we had our home study application submitted and our references picked.....we were about to set a date for the study. We were getting rid of things and gathering things for a nursery........our time was here.
The people have stopped communicating with us.....they ignore our texts, they ignore our phone calls, they ignore our Facebook messages......they have shut us out after choosing us. I know this happens in adoption and I thought I was prepare if it should happen. But I'm not....I'm sad, I'm upset, I'm hurt.....as ridiculous as it might sound I feel like I've lost my child. I will never say anything bad about these people because 1. I don't know them 2. I can't imagine how tough this decision is/was for them.....but I am sad.
So Justin and I are taking a break from the whole adoption thing. We need this break....we got so wrapped up in this situation and honestly, the last thing I want to think about right now is having a child.....I've lost my excitement for it ( for now.....for the time being......it might return).
Justin and I started trying right after we got married and then shifted right into adoption.....we need our time. It wasn't an easy decision.....but it's something we need. I was making myself so sick from the stress of adoption......we need to get settled more. I don't know why I'm justifying my reasons to my readers, but I am.
For those of you that donated to the #mcbaby fund....that money is sitting in its own account.....should for some reason we not return to the adoption idea we will generously donate the money to another adopting family.
Pray for Justin and I as we get over the hurt, pray that no matter any outcome that we see Gods will in and the His way will always prevail.
We love you all and appreciate all your support. Justin and Heather
I'm going to very vaguely tell you a story....Justin and I were contacted to adopt a baby out of state....we were chosen.....picked and Indiana attorney - we had that paperwork complete......we picked an attorney in that state (for interstate adoptions you have to have one in the birth state to help you get cleared to bring the baby home) - that paperwork was being processed......we had our home study application submitted and our references picked.....we were about to set a date for the study. We were getting rid of things and gathering things for a nursery........our time was here.
The people have stopped communicating with us.....they ignore our texts, they ignore our phone calls, they ignore our Facebook messages......they have shut us out after choosing us. I know this happens in adoption and I thought I was prepare if it should happen. But I'm not....I'm sad, I'm upset, I'm hurt.....as ridiculous as it might sound I feel like I've lost my child. I will never say anything bad about these people because 1. I don't know them 2. I can't imagine how tough this decision is/was for them.....but I am sad.
So Justin and I are taking a break from the whole adoption thing. We need this break....we got so wrapped up in this situation and honestly, the last thing I want to think about right now is having a child.....I've lost my excitement for it ( for now.....for the time being......it might return).
Justin and I started trying right after we got married and then shifted right into adoption.....we need our time. It wasn't an easy decision.....but it's something we need. I was making myself so sick from the stress of adoption......we need to get settled more. I don't know why I'm justifying my reasons to my readers, but I am.
For those of you that donated to the #mcbaby fund....that money is sitting in its own account.....should for some reason we not return to the adoption idea we will generously donate the money to another adopting family.
Pray for Justin and I as we get over the hurt, pray that no matter any outcome that we see Gods will in and the His way will always prevail.
We love you all and appreciate all your support. Justin and Heather
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