ok - you wanna know why I'm joyful and overwhelmed and ready to cry for good reasons?????
so there is this place in Atlanta, Georgia - an adoption consulting agency - what they do is work with adopting parents and walk through the whole adoption process with them - give them resources for grants and loans (if need be) - help them with their adoption book (the scrapbook...but I'm drawing a blank on what it's really called) and "advertise" (I really don't know a better word for it) the adoptive parents to the ENTIRE united states.....one agency will get Justin and I to the whole US - not thousands of adoption agencies.....not waiting for agency to call us.....1 agency to THOUSANDS of agencies and birth mothers
THIS IS INSANELY AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and they want to work with Justin and I (well I'm sure they want to work with everyone - but that's beside the point)....anyways all we need up front is our home study completed and our payment to them ($2500 because we are open to all races) anyways.............this is real.............this payment is something we could do.....very very soon (well with special prayers and some help)
so friends and family................PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please please please pray!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the most exciting part............on average from the time their clients have "advertised" to agencies and birth moms - to the moment they have their baby in their arms has been 4.5 months and most are occurring in 1-2 months.......THIS IS EVEN MORE EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!
spread the news..........share the joy.............say a prayer...............get excited!!!!!
we love you sooo sooo sooo much!!
(told you my emotions are all over and would change soon)
justin & heather
Thursday, May 29, 2014
No rest for the weary.....
I feel like this is the silliest title....but on a rough Thursday morning it sounded good.
I've finally hit the point of the adoption where I'm kind of worn out....I know, I know, we've only just started, but it's tiring. Every move you make you have to think about the future, every swipe of the debit card wondering if you should spend the extra money. My mind seriously has spun in circles so fast that I've worn myself out.....plus my husband is currently in Chicago for work so that never helps me sleep well.
But on a brighter side I have another phone "interview" type thing with another adoption place on Friday.....trying to get all our options before we decide on anything......this is a HUGE deal and I want to make sure we make the right decisions. It's been so comforting to have so many people loving us and supporting us.....actually it's almost overwhelming - but in a very very good way :)
I'm meeting lots of new people through this journey and my days and emotions are ALL over the place, but I am not alone - that is for darn sure. But back to my title....I am tired - very tired. I'm always afraid that this is not going to happen - that we won't be able to raise the funds to adopt -that we won't be matched with a birth mom - that a birth mom won't choose us.....oh the stresses are endless.
But 2 Corinthians 12:9 reminds me But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I am weak....very weak and tired - but my God is so much bigger than any doubt or fear I will ever have.
This is going to happen - one way or another - God has a child for us and we will be the BEST darn parents we can be......I just wish that was tomorrow
Please say a prayer for my grandfather - he is facing some health issues right now and it's hard being a couple hours away.
Sorry the update wasn't much - but it's something.....I promise I will get back on the blogging track.
Love you all,
Justin and Heather
I've finally hit the point of the adoption where I'm kind of worn out....I know, I know, we've only just started, but it's tiring. Every move you make you have to think about the future, every swipe of the debit card wondering if you should spend the extra money. My mind seriously has spun in circles so fast that I've worn myself out.....plus my husband is currently in Chicago for work so that never helps me sleep well.
But on a brighter side I have another phone "interview" type thing with another adoption place on Friday.....trying to get all our options before we decide on anything......this is a HUGE deal and I want to make sure we make the right decisions. It's been so comforting to have so many people loving us and supporting us.....actually it's almost overwhelming - but in a very very good way :)
I'm meeting lots of new people through this journey and my days and emotions are ALL over the place, but I am not alone - that is for darn sure. But back to my title....I am tired - very tired. I'm always afraid that this is not going to happen - that we won't be able to raise the funds to adopt -that we won't be matched with a birth mom - that a birth mom won't choose us.....oh the stresses are endless.
But 2 Corinthians 12:9 reminds me But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I am weak....very weak and tired - but my God is so much bigger than any doubt or fear I will ever have.
This is going to happen - one way or another - God has a child for us and we will be the BEST darn parents we can be......I just wish that was tomorrow
Please say a prayer for my grandfather - he is facing some health issues right now and it's hard being a couple hours away.
Sorry the update wasn't much - but it's something.....I promise I will get back on the blogging track.
Love you all,
Justin and Heather
Friday, May 23, 2014
I'm Sorry....
So for those of you who haven't seen...I got a new sewing machine and I'm super pumped. (Except tonight I forgot how stressful it is to thread the machine so I gave up....for tonight ha). Anyways, I decided after work today I was going to head to the craft store and get some sewing supplies. Now, I'm a Hobby Lobby girl so I usually never go anywhere else, but my co-worker told me to check out a few things at Joann Fabrics so I did.....maybe I shouldn't have.....or maybe I should have.
So I browsed around seeing not much of interest (except big spools of thread for .99). This cute little curly haired girl...somewhere between 1 and 2 years of age kept waving and smiling just as sweet as could be. And then I spotted them....."that family"....you know the family the typical traditional very religious family (I don't know their actual denomination) but the mom had the long skirt and hair pulled back and 6 kids following her around. Typically in my mind when is see a parent with 6 kids I imply they are greedy baby hoarders (ok that is really terrible of me and I honestly don't think bad about them but hey....humor gets me through the day and I don't say it out loud just in my head). Ok back to my story....I hear the mom saying telling her children they need to behave or they won't go to the church carnival...blah blah blah it has no real importance to this story.
Stay with me....I'm getting to the point. I get inline and strike a very pleasant conversation with the cashier. She had a hoop in her nose, bleached blonde hair with purple tips and purple drawn in eyebrows....she was unique but she was sweet, she was genuine and she was friendly. We talked and joked....and then she eyes my #mcbaby bracelet. And she asked about it.....I can't help but smile when people ask. So I told her all about our struggle and our journey to adoption and how we got #mcbaby and all of it......and then I heard it.....from behind me.....
OH - I'M SORRY!!
I turn around and to my surprise the little Christian lady with her 6 children was behind me....I smiled and politely said "excuse me?" She stated "I over heard your story and I'm sorry". I proceeded to ask "and what exactly are you sorry for?"
She the has the nerve to point and her now grumpy and irritated 6 children and say "I'm sorry the good Lord didn't find fit to bless you abundantly like he did our family"
Uhhhh excuse me???? Did some stranger really just say that I have not been abundantly blessed by the good Lord because if ant have my own kids?? In order to keep my composure and not say things against my Christian raising, I thanked the sweet Cheshire whose jaw was now on the ground....smiled and the insanely rude lady and left the store.
I didn't cry although I wanted to - but I was (and might still be a little bit) in shock that someone, especially someone who lives such a lifestyle would have the nerve to say something like that. The good Lord has blessed me abundantly.....in ways I don't even know yet. But I know I am blessed, always have been and always will be......this adoption is just the beginning
So lady with 6 children....I am sorry.....I'm sorry that you think the only way a woman is blessed is by how many children The Lord allows your body to birth.
So I browsed around seeing not much of interest (except big spools of thread for .99). This cute little curly haired girl...somewhere between 1 and 2 years of age kept waving and smiling just as sweet as could be. And then I spotted them....."that family"....you know the family the typical traditional very religious family (I don't know their actual denomination) but the mom had the long skirt and hair pulled back and 6 kids following her around. Typically in my mind when is see a parent with 6 kids I imply they are greedy baby hoarders (ok that is really terrible of me and I honestly don't think bad about them but hey....humor gets me through the day and I don't say it out loud just in my head). Ok back to my story....I hear the mom saying telling her children they need to behave or they won't go to the church carnival...blah blah blah it has no real importance to this story.
Stay with me....I'm getting to the point. I get inline and strike a very pleasant conversation with the cashier. She had a hoop in her nose, bleached blonde hair with purple tips and purple drawn in eyebrows....she was unique but she was sweet, she was genuine and she was friendly. We talked and joked....and then she eyes my #mcbaby bracelet. And she asked about it.....I can't help but smile when people ask. So I told her all about our struggle and our journey to adoption and how we got #mcbaby and all of it......and then I heard it.....from behind me.....
OH - I'M SORRY!!
I turn around and to my surprise the little Christian lady with her 6 children was behind me....I smiled and politely said "excuse me?" She stated "I over heard your story and I'm sorry". I proceeded to ask "and what exactly are you sorry for?"
She the has the nerve to point and her now grumpy and irritated 6 children and say "I'm sorry the good Lord didn't find fit to bless you abundantly like he did our family"
Uhhhh excuse me???? Did some stranger really just say that I have not been abundantly blessed by the good Lord because if ant have my own kids?? In order to keep my composure and not say things against my Christian raising, I thanked the sweet Cheshire whose jaw was now on the ground....smiled and the insanely rude lady and left the store.
I didn't cry although I wanted to - but I was (and might still be a little bit) in shock that someone, especially someone who lives such a lifestyle would have the nerve to say something like that. The good Lord has blessed me abundantly.....in ways I don't even know yet. But I know I am blessed, always have been and always will be......this adoption is just the beginning
So lady with 6 children....I am sorry.....I'm sorry that you think the only way a woman is blessed is by how many children The Lord allows your body to birth.
Monday, May 19, 2014
Broken? Punished?
I haven't updated in a couple weeks and I apologize. I haven't been able to find the words to write an update. Things with the adoption are progressing well. Justin and I have our first foster parent licensing class on June 10th. We are very excited for this.
I have peace about the adoption, we have excitement for the adoption. We know we are blessed, but I have struggled so much with my own personal worth and self image over this whole ordeal. As a woman, God created me to do some very powerful and wonderful things, but my body can't do those things. While I know that God created women to birth children, I also know that for some reason, some reason I may ever know the answer to, some answer that I think is so stupid and frustrating, God created me to NOT be able to birth children. No clue why and most days I really wish I did. But it's hard for me to look in the mirror most days and not feel disappointed, not feel broken, not feel abused. It's hard for me to look in the mirror and to not think of myself as less of a woman.
I remember in college telling some co-workers that I didn't plan on having children (I mentioned this in my first post about our infertility) and some crazy woman that I worked with yelled at me and scolded me about this decision, telling me it was a sin and that the Bible states that I, as a woman, was created for the purposes of being a wife and a mother. (If those were my sole purposes I want to know why I'm so far in student loan debt). Anyways I was mortified, and then fast forward several years and I can't have children (wonder how that woman would feel today). I have struggled with wondering if I am being punished for some reason, is my infertility a punishment for my years of turning my back? for my moments of rebellion? Why am I being punished? I've time and time again that infertility is not a punishment, and deep in my heart I know it's not a punishment, but for those of you who haven't walked in the same shoes I'm in, try to stand in my shoes. Try to be a wife and tell your husband you will never have his children, that the kids you raise will not be of your own blood and genes. Try to look at yourself in the mirror and not think "I'm broken".
I make some many jokes and quick comments regarding the infertility, because honestly if I didn't I would cry - all day - every day.
You see, I am at peace about the adoption. But I'm not totally at peace with the infertility. One day I will be able to look in the mirror and not think so negatively about myself, one day I will fully see I am not being punished.
Because you see - just as God has chosen a special child for me - God has chosen Justin and I for this special child.
I just need to see past the brokenness.
We love you all - we appreciate your support, your encouragement and all your love....#mcbaby will be here faster than we can imagine. We can't wait.
Justin+Heather
I have peace about the adoption, we have excitement for the adoption. We know we are blessed, but I have struggled so much with my own personal worth and self image over this whole ordeal. As a woman, God created me to do some very powerful and wonderful things, but my body can't do those things. While I know that God created women to birth children, I also know that for some reason, some reason I may ever know the answer to, some answer that I think is so stupid and frustrating, God created me to NOT be able to birth children. No clue why and most days I really wish I did. But it's hard for me to look in the mirror most days and not feel disappointed, not feel broken, not feel abused. It's hard for me to look in the mirror and to not think of myself as less of a woman.
I remember in college telling some co-workers that I didn't plan on having children (I mentioned this in my first post about our infertility) and some crazy woman that I worked with yelled at me and scolded me about this decision, telling me it was a sin and that the Bible states that I, as a woman, was created for the purposes of being a wife and a mother. (If those were my sole purposes I want to know why I'm so far in student loan debt). Anyways I was mortified, and then fast forward several years and I can't have children (wonder how that woman would feel today). I have struggled with wondering if I am being punished for some reason, is my infertility a punishment for my years of turning my back? for my moments of rebellion? Why am I being punished? I've time and time again that infertility is not a punishment, and deep in my heart I know it's not a punishment, but for those of you who haven't walked in the same shoes I'm in, try to stand in my shoes. Try to be a wife and tell your husband you will never have his children, that the kids you raise will not be of your own blood and genes. Try to look at yourself in the mirror and not think "I'm broken".
I make some many jokes and quick comments regarding the infertility, because honestly if I didn't I would cry - all day - every day.
You see, I am at peace about the adoption. But I'm not totally at peace with the infertility. One day I will be able to look in the mirror and not think so negatively about myself, one day I will fully see I am not being punished.
Because you see - just as God has chosen a special child for me - God has chosen Justin and I for this special child.
I just need to see past the brokenness.
We love you all - we appreciate your support, your encouragement and all your love....#mcbaby will be here faster than we can imagine. We can't wait.
Justin+Heather
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Mother's Day
My sweet chosen child,
It's the eve of Mother's Day and all Incan think about is you. Physically I'm not a mom yet....but in my heart I am a mom...I am your mom, and you....you are my child. My hoped for, prayed for, wished for and chosen child. You are loved more than my words will ever be able to tell you. You are so special.
Very few things these days bring me as much joy as knowing that we have already been selected for each other. I can't wait to be your mom or to hear you call me "mommy". I can't wait to feel your little arms around my neck as you embrace in the tightest hug your little arms can manage, I can't wait to feel your sweet kisses on my cheek or to hear your innocent prayers each night at bed. I can't wait to hold you.
I can't wait to see your relationship bloom with your Nana, my mom, who I promise to try and be so much like. You are going to love your Nana and all the special moments you will share with her and the way she will teach you how to bake. Your Mamaw, your daddy's mom, she will fill you with so much advice. You will have a special love shared with you two. You also have two awesome aunts, who have already given you 3 AWESOME cousins. You will love your aunts so much because we all know aunts are a little cooler than mommy (although your mommy is pretty awesome). You will have so much fun loving on your Aunt Cindy and your Aunt Brittany and I can only imagine the relationship you will have with each of them.
You see my sweet child, so many mommies have instilled in me the skills and knowledge I need to raise you in the best way possible. As your mommy all I hope is that one day you see that I tried my hardest to love you unconditionally and to prepare you for your life ahead.
My sweet chosen one, I can't wait to celebrate my first Mother's Day with you, to receive your homemade gifts with prints of your little hands and feet. They will be the most beautiful artwork I've ever seen. I know this already. Though I've never seen you or felt you, being your mommy is the greatest gift I will ever receive. And your birth mommy, she is the strongest lady I have ever known. She made a big decision and chose me for you. She is a great mommy.
You my sweet child are the greatest blessing I will ever receive, I look forward to the moment when we first meet, when I first become a Mom. Until that day know that you are prayed for and loved by more people than you will ever be able to count.
I love you my chosen child,
Mommy
It's the eve of Mother's Day and all Incan think about is you. Physically I'm not a mom yet....but in my heart I am a mom...I am your mom, and you....you are my child. My hoped for, prayed for, wished for and chosen child. You are loved more than my words will ever be able to tell you. You are so special.
Very few things these days bring me as much joy as knowing that we have already been selected for each other. I can't wait to be your mom or to hear you call me "mommy". I can't wait to feel your little arms around my neck as you embrace in the tightest hug your little arms can manage, I can't wait to feel your sweet kisses on my cheek or to hear your innocent prayers each night at bed. I can't wait to hold you.
I can't wait to see your relationship bloom with your Nana, my mom, who I promise to try and be so much like. You are going to love your Nana and all the special moments you will share with her and the way she will teach you how to bake. Your Mamaw, your daddy's mom, she will fill you with so much advice. You will have a special love shared with you two. You also have two awesome aunts, who have already given you 3 AWESOME cousins. You will love your aunts so much because we all know aunts are a little cooler than mommy (although your mommy is pretty awesome). You will have so much fun loving on your Aunt Cindy and your Aunt Brittany and I can only imagine the relationship you will have with each of them.
You see my sweet child, so many mommies have instilled in me the skills and knowledge I need to raise you in the best way possible. As your mommy all I hope is that one day you see that I tried my hardest to love you unconditionally and to prepare you for your life ahead.
My sweet chosen one, I can't wait to celebrate my first Mother's Day with you, to receive your homemade gifts with prints of your little hands and feet. They will be the most beautiful artwork I've ever seen. I know this already. Though I've never seen you or felt you, being your mommy is the greatest gift I will ever receive. And your birth mommy, she is the strongest lady I have ever known. She made a big decision and chose me for you. She is a great mommy.
You my sweet child are the greatest blessing I will ever receive, I look forward to the moment when we first meet, when I first become a Mom. Until that day know that you are prayed for and loved by more people than you will ever be able to count.
I love you my chosen child,
Mommy
Monday, May 5, 2014
What a weekend
Mondays are always rough.....but then even more rough when you've had a bad weekend. It wasn't bad because of events....it was bad because of my attitude and my heart. It wasn't pleasant....I had a really rough weekend and a very doubt filled weekend.
I question whether adoption is right.....I question whether I'm the right person for a birth mother to choose....I question whether this is my decision or God's decision. I question so much.
I doubt that we will be placed with a child, I doubt that I will be able to do this (especially when Justin is gone), I doubt that we financially will be able to even adopt a child.
I want to cry because I knew days like these would come. Today is better, tomorrow will be even better. Days like this past weekend are bound to happen.
Justin & Heather
I question whether adoption is right.....I question whether I'm the right person for a birth mother to choose....I question whether this is my decision or God's decision. I question so much.
I doubt that we will be placed with a child, I doubt that I will be able to do this (especially when Justin is gone), I doubt that we financially will be able to even adopt a child.
I want to cry because I knew days like these would come. Today is better, tomorrow will be even better. Days like this past weekend are bound to happen.
Justin & Heather
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)