A Short and sweet (kind of sour) update

I feel like I'm always apologizing for it being so long in between posts at time, but my heart snd my feelings have been in such a negative place lately that I needed to calm just a little.

I'm going to very vaguely tell you a story....Justin and I were contacted to adopt a baby out of state....we were chosen.....picked and Indiana attorney - we had that paperwork complete......we picked an attorney in that state (for interstate adoptions you have to have one in the birth state to help you get cleared to bring the baby home) - that paperwork was being processed......we had our home study application submitted and our references picked.....we were about to set a date for the study. We were getting rid of things and gathering things for a nursery........our time was here.


The people have stopped communicating with us.....they ignore our texts, they ignore our phone calls, they ignore our Facebook messages......they have shut us out after choosing us.  I know this happens in adoption and I thought I was prepare if it should happen. But I'm not....I'm sad, I'm upset, I'm hurt.....as ridiculous as it might sound I feel like I've lost my child. I will never say anything bad about these people because 1. I don't know them 2. I can't imagine how tough this decision is/was for them.....but I am sad.

So Justin and I are taking a break from the whole adoption thing. We need this break....we got so wrapped up in this situation and honestly, the last thing I want to think about right now is having a child.....I've lost my excitement for it  ( for now.....for the time being......it might return).

Justin and I started trying right after we got married and then shifted right into adoption.....we need our time. It wasn't an easy decision.....but it's something we need. I was making myself so sick from the stress of adoption......we need to get settled more. I don't know why I'm justifying my reasons to my readers, but I am.

For those of you that donated to the #mcbaby fund....that money is sitting in its own account.....should for some reason we not return to the adoption idea we will generously donate the money to another adopting family.

Pray for Justin and I as we get over the hurt, pray that no matter any outcome that we see Gods will in and the His way will always prevail.

We love you all and appreciate all your support. Justin and Heather