I think improbably said it before......but I'm going to remind myself again
IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK!!!!!!!!!
that's kind of refreshing - especially for a day like today. I'm not, I can be ok, but for today I'm not. I'm not the only one in the boat that I'm in, I'm not the only one going through and dealing with what I've been dealt today, but it doesn't make it any harder. Are there things to help? Of course, there always is. Are those things guaranteed to help? No, they never are.
I suppose it's a part of life, the struggles, but I don't want them. At least not this one. I could say it's not fair, but since when is a struggle "fair"? I would be wasting my time throwing that pity party.
For today I will be a little hurt, for today (and probably many days) I will be scared/nervous/stressed (which ultimately isn't good), but tomorrow I will be better. Tomorrow will be day 1! Tomorrow I won't be so sad, or so scars, or so nervous. Tomorrow I might still NOT be ok, but I will be closer to being ok.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Snowmagedon
I don't know if that's the correct spelling but it's also not the important part. This past week became an impromptu vacation for me. Justin and I moved everything Saturday and on Sunday we got bombarded with snow.
Let me say that when you sit at home all day.....for a week.....you just about want to go crazy. I'm so tired of watching movies.....I say this as is it here watching another movie - but I'm over it and I'm glad to be out among the living again. I'm actually a little ready to go back to work on Monday. Don't worry you won't hear me saying that often. I did kind of enjoy being at home....Justin and I ate really yummy and healthy fully cooked meals :)
When you're home all day (especially a week when your husband is on thirds) you do a lot of thinking. I came across my blog from when I was in college. It was good, actually I kind of surprised myself reading it again. It brought back a lot of memories of things I went through, but one thing I did notice was my heart was in such a different place. I was so trusting and so confident. Almost every entry was knowing that God had a plan and reflecting on things He had been teaching me. I wonder what it would be like if I got back to that place? I've hit some rough spots and one rock bottom hitting spot and I'm rebuilding myself still. But finding this blog was good.
A lot is going on personally, nothing that I'm ready to discuss yet, but they are heavy on my own heart. I know that there is a plan and there is a reason, but it doesn't make it hurt or sometimes frustrate me any less.
Lafayette is growing on me.....it really does stink here though, due to some factories. The drivers are terrible and people still grocery shop in pajama pants.
Maybe with the new year I will find that trusting heart again, maybe all this snow was a blessing the allow me the time to not worry or stress about a thing.
Even in the worst situations (I HATE snow) something beautiful always happens
Love to you all
The McMahans
Let me say that when you sit at home all day.....for a week.....you just about want to go crazy. I'm so tired of watching movies.....I say this as is it here watching another movie - but I'm over it and I'm glad to be out among the living again. I'm actually a little ready to go back to work on Monday. Don't worry you won't hear me saying that often. I did kind of enjoy being at home....Justin and I ate really yummy and healthy fully cooked meals :)
When you're home all day (especially a week when your husband is on thirds) you do a lot of thinking. I came across my blog from when I was in college. It was good, actually I kind of surprised myself reading it again. It brought back a lot of memories of things I went through, but one thing I did notice was my heart was in such a different place. I was so trusting and so confident. Almost every entry was knowing that God had a plan and reflecting on things He had been teaching me. I wonder what it would be like if I got back to that place? I've hit some rough spots and one rock bottom hitting spot and I'm rebuilding myself still. But finding this blog was good.
A lot is going on personally, nothing that I'm ready to discuss yet, but they are heavy on my own heart. I know that there is a plan and there is a reason, but it doesn't make it hurt or sometimes frustrate me any less.
Lafayette is growing on me.....it really does stink here though, due to some factories. The drivers are terrible and people still grocery shop in pajama pants.
Maybe with the new year I will find that trusting heart again, maybe all this snow was a blessing the allow me the time to not worry or stress about a thing.
Even in the worst situations (I HATE snow) something beautiful always happens
Love to you all
The McMahans
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Lafayette
Well here we are......in Lafayette. It seems weird.....I already hate living in an apartment. Hearing the people next to you......knowing they can hear you......hate that. A old lady in our building is slightly frightening and we have already learned not to park anywhere near her - ha
I told myself I would move to Lafayette with an open mind. For every reason this was the best choice for us.....but I won't lie as soon as we turned onto 9 in Alexandria to leave I called my mom and I cried....only for a couple of minutes but I cried. I started to cry talking to dad but managed to control that. Alexandria is all I've ever known. Madison County is all I've ever known. Yes I went to school near Chicago but I was home every other weekend. Yes I lived in Indy for a while but it was such a terrible situation that I was home almost as often as I stayed there.
The difference with these places and Lafayette.......I knew people in the places. I know a couple of people here. One doesn't exactly live in Lafayette and while I know these people and call them friends.....it's weird. I don't know where anything in this town is, I don't even know how to get to my own apartment.
It was hard to move a huge house into a small apartment........
But I said I would move here with an open mind......so I am! As much as I hate it right now......I will grow to love Lafayette, the adventures that await us, the opportunities on every corner. I will find a job that I enjoy. We might look to buy a house here one day, I will learn to not turn down the wrong street.......but I WONT become a boilermaker (hence why this blog is in crimson)
I will hate Lafayette for a day or two.....but it will grow on me.....so will the people......I will meet friends - the McMahans will do big things. I usually hate change - today I definitely hate it - but change is good and this I know will become a very good thing.
I told myself I would move to Lafayette with an open mind. For every reason this was the best choice for us.....but I won't lie as soon as we turned onto 9 in Alexandria to leave I called my mom and I cried....only for a couple of minutes but I cried. I started to cry talking to dad but managed to control that. Alexandria is all I've ever known. Madison County is all I've ever known. Yes I went to school near Chicago but I was home every other weekend. Yes I lived in Indy for a while but it was such a terrible situation that I was home almost as often as I stayed there.
The difference with these places and Lafayette.......I knew people in the places. I know a couple of people here. One doesn't exactly live in Lafayette and while I know these people and call them friends.....it's weird. I don't know where anything in this town is, I don't even know how to get to my own apartment.
It was hard to move a huge house into a small apartment........
But I said I would move here with an open mind......so I am! As much as I hate it right now......I will grow to love Lafayette, the adventures that await us, the opportunities on every corner. I will find a job that I enjoy. We might look to buy a house here one day, I will learn to not turn down the wrong street.......but I WONT become a boilermaker (hence why this blog is in crimson)
I will hate Lafayette for a day or two.....but it will grow on me.....so will the people......I will meet friends - the McMahans will do big things. I usually hate change - today I definitely hate it - but change is good and this I know will become a very good thing.
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