In social media posts about Justin I often mention how thankful I am for loving a person like me, for meeting me in a really dark place and helping bring me to life - for picking up the pieces of a very broken girl and helping put them back together. I don't use phrases like that lightly - when Justin and I started "dating" ( I can't say met because we've known each other since 4th grade) I was sitting at a place lower than rock bottom. I was in a place where I walked away from everything that made sense to me....I walked away from friends and I walked away from church. I needed something to feel a void that was in my life....and lucky Justin took a chance and asked me on a date (although some days I still blame the post surgery pain meds I was on) - I needed an escape and I wasn't looking for anyone and I didn't want anything with meaning.
The morning of Justin and I's first date.....I received my finalized divorce papers in the mail. Yes you read that right....divorce papers. I was fully ready to cancel our date if they didn't arrive that day because the thought of going on a date with someone when still legally married made me sick....and instead of dealing with my heartbreak, instead of grieving one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to do....I ran to a first date....on the same day I was legally not married anymore......and 5 years later I'm saying....
I'M SO HAPPY THAT I DID!
That escape I thought I was running to....ended up being my second chance at everything - at life, at love, at happiness, at gratitude, at happily every after. I walked away from my faith and the church and Justin walked me right back to it. I walked away from my friends and Justin walked me right back to them. I sat at a place lower than rock bottom and Justin climbed back to the light with me. It wasn't an easy battle for either one of us, but he took each day one step at a time with me. He grieved difficult moments with me, he left me talk out the anger that I never discussed, he let me be crazy and questions everything he did. He let me not trust him in order to learn to trust again. He gave me hope when I had lost it all.
Our story is not some fairy tale that people hope and wish for, but it's the greatest story I've ever read. It holds truth, redemption, love, and hope. It centers Christ and the strength that only comes from Him. Our marriage is so beautiful - a marriage I never anticipated, at first never wanted and I definitely don't deserve.
I hear it almost daily that people don't know how I live the life we live, never knowing when Justin will be home, never knowing when he will work - they don't know how I deal with his line or work. The truth is - I "handle" it because Justin has handled so much more. He's the reason I wake up each morning grateful. He's the reason I wake trudge through the valleys and keep going on the days I want to give up. He is my life and everyday of every year, I am so thankful he continues to choose me. I am so thankful that he saw who I was and not who I use to be. I am so thankful that he looked past the road I once walked and paved a new way for the two of us. And today, almost 5 years later, I am so thankful that everyday he chooses me!
Our story is just beginning and everyday I am grateful to be building this life with Justin! Happy early Anniversary Justin, life with you is one grand adventure - thank you for daily choosing me! Looking forward to many more years of celebration with you and a trip away to Jamaica ;)
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