Friday, June 12, 2015

Why we still talk about infertility.....

In the months since we found out we were expecting I've been asked several times and by several different people "why do you still talk about your infertility journey?" "why do you still post about infertility?" "since you're pregnant doesn't that mean infertility doesn't apply to you?" "doesn't it seem ironic to you to have a tattoo symbolizing infertility while you are pregnant?"

The questions have been unending - overwhelming - and almost ignorant at some points.  Let me tell you why Justin and I still talk about infertility and why I don't find my tattoo ironic.

It is no secret that Justin and I hoped for, prayed for and tried for a baby for 2 years - when we found out that there would be fertility issues for both of us we knew it was  cause that we wanted to have a voice for.  We have known and loved many who dealt with infertility long before we did - we didn't know what it was like to be in their shoes (at the time) but suddenly we did.  We know not everyone is as open about their infertility journey as we were - but as a couple we knew it wasn't something we would be quiet about.  We had full faith in the power of prayer and in the power of numbers.  Unfortunately, infertility is much more common than I would every hope for it to be and too many people that I know and love have dealt with or are currently dealing with some form of infertility.  We still talk about it for THEM!

Through our journey we found a lot of support - from people who suffered infertility and now have beautiful families with precious babies (or growing kids), from people who were still walking the journey of infertility either waiting for their first child or dealing the pain of secondary infertility (believe me it's a very real thing), and from people who were blessed to conceive babies with no problem.  Through our journey I met ladies in my close radius who knew the path I was walking and they prayed for me and they loved me. Through our journey I met ladies who came to me and said "thank you for sharing, I am currently dealing with the same issues" and our friendships blossomed.  
I still talk about infertility because of these people.  The people who were no longer on my journey - they beat the odds and they supported me - imagine if once these ladies had babies they stopped talking about infertility - how would I have managed with out that support and understanding?  I still talk about infertility because of these ladies - because they gave me hope and faith on some of the roughest days.

When we found out we were expecting - we were overjoyed.  I had women reach out to me and say "thank you for sharing your journey - your story gives me hope" or "I have the same medical issues you have and your story gives me hope that one day I will be in your shoes"  How do you turn your backs on that?  We still have friends and family waiting to get those positive test results - waiting to hear the first heartbeat and waiting to see the little dot on the ultrasound screen.  We waited once too - and now we wait for them - and when they hit weak moments like we did - we stand for them, because once someone stood and waited in our place.

1 in 8 is a lot of couples - and with statistics like that someone you love so much is bound to deal with these difficult moments and these hard days - but if we never let our voice go silent - then our strength can build their strength and they will see the rainbow at the end of the rain storm.

We still talk about infertility - because Rowan doesn't end our story - he's our next chapter.  We still talk about infertility because others talked about infertility with us.  We still talk about infertility because someone out there needs to hear that this isn't how their story ends.  We still talk about infertility because it is our story - I don't find my tattoo ironic because it is a part of our story. We still talk about infertility because we won't let our voice be silenced.  Most importantly we still talk about infertility because too many couples that we love so much are still waiting!

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